Portal To Porn

Yawn…oh it’s over ? Thank God. Panty World 11 has to be one of the most boring porn movies I have ever seen, and for the life of me if the first ten was like this, I cannot possibly imagine how they managed to make it to eleven. Personally though I can’t really understand the whole panty fetish anyway…I’m guessing the people who have this fetish are the same people that when they were young and they opened their birthday and Christmas gifts, ignored the toys and spent their day playing with the box or the wrapping paper it came in. As for me I don’t care how the chick is wrapped, I just wanna unwrap her and get down to business.

If you are the type of dude or chick who is into checking out panties, and chicks in their underwear as opposed to chicks in the buff then fast forward the movie to the third scene cos it’s the best of the bunch with some voyeurism and trippy lighting and double the hot chicks as two tasty looking sluts go down on each other, and yeah I gotta admit, what they’re wearing is pretty fucking hot…though they do look hotter after it’s off. But if you’re digging the whole lingerie scene, at least in this scene you get double the chicks and therefore double the lingerie.

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The heat and intensity of that scene almost makes up for the time wasted in the rest of the movie and I pretty much guarantee that the smoldering wetness these two babes generate is enough to blow your load so you don’t need the rest of the movie anyway.

One cock-up for one awesome scene to Panty World 11.

This is a movie that frankly doesn’t live up to the enticement in the title. I hear Farmer Daughters Do Vegas and I think orgies in casino’s and slutty fuck clubs where sweet virginal and naive farm-girls get debauched and end up becoming sluts that take on the whole city of Las Vegas. In this vision of what I should be watching, Farmer Daughters Do Vegas totally let me down, and the amount of time I had to spend fast-forwarding through inane conversations delivered with nauseating acting does not leave this movie listed as one of my favorites…it didn’t totally suck, but it totally did not live up to expectations.

Once you get the hang of fast-scanning until you see the clothes come off the movie improves…I mean these chicks are babes and totally know how to fuck and suck…in the words of Wayne from Wayne’s World, “They would give a dog a bone”. These are actresses that love cock but unfortunately once again this is another aspect in which an otherwise lengthy porn movie fell short of it’s potential.

I have seen these chicks in enough flicks to know that they love pussy as much as they love cock…hell, they just love sex period.

C’mon guys, next time get some hot clit-on-clit rubbing happening with babe juices flowing onto each other. Two cocks-up based on the heat of the sex that there was for Farmer Daughters Do Vegas.

Summer Olympics are coming, but yknow every Olympics since 1984 the viewing audience and pre-Olympic hype has been dwindling. Some people figure this is a result of social and political unrest throughout the world being mirrored through International events.

Take for example all the bullshit about the Olympics being in China…for Christ’s sakes the Olympics is supposed to be free of political bullshit. Now assume that these people are wrong…then why are less people watching these events ? Answer: Because people nowadays get bored easily and need sensationalism in what they watch. So to save the Olympics for future generations we need to introduce events like this.

Slut versus slut is the name of the game in this display of fellatio skills. I have no idea how they judged it, but by the looks of the lucky dudes who got their cocks sucked none of them had anything to complain about and they all judged it as mighty fine. These babes all gobble cock like it is what they were created for doing, and they enjoy showing off that they have the skills to work more than one fuckstick at a time. The sluttiness of these chicks as they gobble down the sausage is a guaranteed jack-off load waiting to be shot while watching them.

My only complaint with American Cocksuckin Championship 3 is that with this many sluts and all of that cock they could’ve taken it further and had it been a gangbang championship instead.

Four cocks-up for American Cocksuckin Championship 3.

Variety is the spice of life and 40+ and Hummin is spicier than ten-alarm deep Texas chili. The one good thing about age on chicks who dig sex is that their sluttier ways end up being some old babes who will never end up feeling useless and discarded. There is always use for a chick who gives a good blowjob and from what I hear there are some dudes who prefer toothless grannies anyway.

Nine nymphomaniac scenes show us a wide age-range of cock-craving women who are the north side of forty and (thankfully) the south side of seventy. Porn like this is so cool, not so much for the porn as for the communal nature of these movies. A bunch of former babes who can’t get laid anymore the way they like it unless they pay for it end up getting paid to be fucked hard the way they want to be and the producers are able to make a nice piece of coin because while the esthetics may not be so cool on these nymphos we do enjoy seeing any type of babe who likes sex and knows how to suck and fuck.

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With an age-range from early forties to early sixties we see that sex is one thing you never forget how to do and maybe while watching this movie you get to pick up a few new tricks. After all you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe an old dog can teach you one or two.

Because I’m in a generous mood, 40+ and Hummin gets three cocks-up.