Portal To Porn

Another Milf Movie to Manhandle your Meat to…Even though this is number 9, its the first Nymph Fever movie I’ve seen. (maybe hearing the beatles revolution #9 too many times messing with my priorities…..dooo doo doo doo) The heat factor, while not anything truly special, was good enough that at some point I will take a look for more in the series. The producers or whomever certainly did not lie when titling Nymph Fever 9 anyways.

They played it safely to make sure they got nymphs for Nymph Fever 9, and searched that 30-something milf market, grabbing sluts who obviously love sucking, fucking and doing it on camera for your pleasure as much as Rosie O’Donnell enjoys eating small foreign children.

No matter what kind of porn, (except that ugliness movie I reviewed the other day) whether it’s amateur or professional…high budget or lower end scale like this one; there is one thing that makes porn hot or not, (unless you’re some kinda sicko wackjob who should be in jail) the total into-it-iveness of the chicks as they ride their way thru the pussy pounding movie that they are in. I almost think that, just like with steroids in sports, they are going to have to regulate MILF action in movies one day soon, cos getting chicks like that to be in amateurish movies like this when they are in their sexual prime is almost rigging the game…like getting Roger Clemens to pitch for a ten-year old baseball team.

See that’s the thing about Nymph Fever 9, there was no one spectacular outta sight sex scene that really stood out, yet the true nymphomania on display carried the whole movie enough that I was able to cum twice watching it, and therefore

Nymph Fever 9 gets four cocks-up.

One of the most essential ingredients if you’re trying to create a super spicy sexfest porn flick is the slut factor of the actresses. It’s always hot to see some nympho chick getting fucked and showing how much she loves cock. If you’re lucky as a producer and a viewer you get to experience the true sluts of the biz who you get to see in some movies enjoying cock and in some movies getting just as jazzed up while getting juiced up with other equally hot sluts.

Chick Flick 8 is pornographic proof that some things do not change over time. Even when we were young, if we were to hear that Suzie down the street was having a sleepover; we would know, or somehow sense, that on some level it was a more fun or special time than we would have when one of our buddies would sleep over. Chick Flick 8 shows that 15 years later, those special times that some chicks have when they get together still has a vibrancy of its own, guaranteed to satisfy your most voyeuristic needs.

The jewel in the crown for Chick Flick 8 is the final sensational squirting sapphic sex session as three of the sluttiest sluts that ever did slut, get together to jam together in one of the sluttiest, most energetic chick on chick on chick scenes I have ever seen.

Chick Flick 8 gets four cocks-up…next time slam some cock into these pussies too and your next ‘Chick Flick’ will get a five.

In my many years as a pervert purveying porn, I have seen a lot of whacked out and/or revolting and/or completely senseless fetishes…people dressing as plush animals, dudes dressing up as babies, or as South Park showed us, Japanese girls puking on each other, and Brazilian Fart Sex. There’s an insane range of different strokes for different folks out there, but above them all this is one that doesn’t make any freakin sense to me.

U-G-L-Y…these chicks ain’t got no alibi, they’re ugly… These chicks have no tits, no asses…I mean, we’re talking chicks that if you put paper bags over their heads, you still wouldn’t want to fuck them! I mean, why the hell would somebody film this unless maybe they were testing viagra at the time or something. All I can say is, unless you are so much of an ugly loser yourself that the only way you can feel good is to look at other ugly people…DON’T watch this movie. Butter Face gets zero cocks-up and if I could do negatives, I would…what the hell, Butter Face gets negative five gajillion cocks-up!

A multi-hued slutteriffic nasty fuck-fest extravaganza that lasts longer than even your average Hollywood production, and definitely supplies you with more wood and chances to shoot a load than your average Hollywood production as well, although Optimus Prime did give some pretty major raging hard-ons to a lot of truck enthusiasts…oh yeah, that chick in Transformers was worth splooging for too, but I digress. Intensitivity 4 is one fuck show guaranteed to give you something to shoot your load to repeatedly, and if it doesn’t then you’re fucking gay.

Sometimes in porn you get the porn-starlet who spends her time trying to look good for the camera and make it so that she’s easy to airbrush for photo shoots…sometimes you get the chicks who look like crack whores and can’t wait to finish the scene so they can get their twenty bucks and fuck off to find a fix…sometimes you get those chicks who don’t really look like they’re into or even know what they’re doing and suck cock while their minds (or what passes for their minds) are obviously a million miles away, and THEN sometimes you luck out and you find a film filled with true sluts who are there for cock first and money second.

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These chicks are what porn should be made around and these chicks are the sluts of Intensitivity 4. Something for everyone in this movie. You want a couple chicks getting it on together? You got it. You want a couple of chicks taking turns enjoying some cock or at the same time? You got it. Wanna see some dp action where the holes get really stretched and the Ho’s yell for more? You got it. You like a dark drink to shoot your cream into? You got it…some sweet dusky decadent sluts also grace the screen in Intensitivity 4.

In short, Intensitivity 4 has something for everyone and gets five full-on cocks-up.