Portal To Porn

I know I’ve said it a bajillion times and will probably end up having to say it a bajillion more, but storylines have no place in porn because the writers can’t write, the actors and actresses can’t act and let’s face it, the viewers generally don’t give a shit about a story, we just want to see some hot sex and get off while watching it. Fan Fever is a slight exception to this rule because it applies a sense of irony…probably without even realizing it.

So anyways, some blonde bimbo chick wants to be an actress and for some reason seems to think that daytime soap actresses are the same thing as real actresses…I guess kinda like how some pornstars think that being a pornstar makes them a movie star, and being a porn actress makes them an actress. Sadly I think the sluts in this movie have too much splooge on their brains from getting skull-fucked so much and probably miss these ironic parallels. The sex was more than decent because these chicks obviously really liked getting it on and getting their rocks off on camera.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Click here to watch FAN FEVER ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So like many other porn movies out there, if you’re willing to fastscan through the mindless crap you will find enough heat to ignite your rocket.

Fan Fever gets three cocks-up for the hot sex and if the producers got these babes together for a fuck-flick that didn’t make your interest ebb with attempts at a story, and instead they just made a two hour raunch-fest with full on hardcore fucking from start to finish I bet they could earn themselves a five.

Yknow those old comics you would buy in the 1970’s…the covers would have pictures and titles telling you one thing, and you’d go ‘Oh my God I can’t believe Superman is going to kill Batman!!’…then you read the comic and of course Superman didn’t kill Batman and even though you feel kinda relieved cos you didn’t really want Batman to die, you also feel a little ripped off cos you bought or read the comic based on the lying cover. Well that’s what All Natural 10 reminds me of, without any of the relief from Batman not getting killed or any other type of relief, and I’m talking the sploogetastic ball-draining kind of relief you want from porn.

Now if you dig big natural bouncing titties like Kenny in the South Park Heavy Metal parody ‘Awesome boobage’ and me and any other right thinking male or lesbo…here’s a tip, if you can find a hot one check BBW slut movies instead cos when I picture a movie saying All Natural, I picture big tits…All Natural 10 did not deliver on this.

Like damn right these chicks are natural, but looking at the lack of racks that they have, if they want to be in porn they should invest in some plastic surgery and be not natural. I’m not quite sure how this series got as high as ten unless they didn’t lie for their other movies, and delivered what people wanted to see, or maybe the producers just don’t give a shit.

Anyways, there’s also only three scenes and in the guy/girl ones the slut factor just is not there to give it enough heat and the only part worth watching is the middle girl-girl segment which at least raises the temperature a little mid-way through the movie.

All Natural 10 receives one cock-up and hopefully if I view other ones in this series the natural chicks will at least have big tits.

Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve explored the naughty and nasty nympho natures of America’s heartland and the people that make the Heart of America the freakshow fuck-fest carnival that it is, and what better place in porn to enjoy pure milf decadence than a typical American trailer park filled with lonely cock-craving over-sexed and under-satisfied sluts eager to suck and be fucked…

A while ago I reviewed and shot a few loads to the sequel to this gangbang slut fest, Trailer Trash Moms 2, and after having seen the one that spawned it all (or maybe I should say spermed it all) I gotta say that I will be keeping my eyes open for more like this to splooge to cos this is trash that I am happy to take out.

We’re treated to four scenes of cock-loving cum-craving 30-something nasty nympho mamas getting their groove on and treating these dudes to some thoroughly intense fucking, sucking, double penetration and pretty much any position that gets their holes filled. Midway through, almost like a bonus, we get to see that not only do these sluts crave cock but if there’s none around at the time, they’re happy to just get it on with each other and enjoy some wet noisy orgasms together.

Trailer Trash Moms gets four cocks-up, going more extreme with even more dudes banging these babes would’ve gotten it a higher rating, but for a gangbang movie to jack it to, this one rocks out with it’s cock out.

This dude was far out enough the first time around, and enough of you commented about how hot, extreme and unbelievably amazing the sex scenes were as these chicks took more cock than you thought possible. So I’ve found another and man, I don’t know if this dude is lucky or not, cos outside of porn he probably literally scares the shit out of chicks when they see what he’s packing.

Anyways, we get three scenes of hot milf sex with Mr Horsecock giving these sluts an overdose of what they’ve been craving.

First up is a 30-something blonde milf super-slut and you can tell straight off that this chick totally craves cock and hasn’t been getting enough. Mr Horsecock fixes her problem and leaves her supremely fucked in every hole, gives her a super-sized salami sandwich to suck on and finishes off with the special sauce she lusts for. He follows this up with a brunette to show that he doesn’t discriminate when he’s nailing white chicks, leaving her equally well fucked and then he nails one more bimbo who totally takes his super-sized schlong all the way while having earth shaking orgasms.

For sheer amazing sluttiness and the depths of penetration for mind-blowing hardcore fucking, Mr. Horsecock 4 gets four cocks-up.